Parent coaches offer an alternative twist of language - "When....then".
For example "When you put your toys away, then we can play outside". Or "When you stop whining, then you can have your toy back". Or "When you try each of the items on your plate, then you can get up from the table". This kind of framing is effective right through those teenage years - "When you take the garbage out, then you can go to your friend’s house".
All this is not to say that there isn't a place for "no". But if we use it less frequently, and follow through, our children will learn that "No" means "No"!
Until next time......Leslie